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    Former employees accuse Alex Jones and InfoWars of sexual harassment, anti-Semitism

    Read more: https :// www.dailydot.com/ layer8/ alex-jones-infowars-sexual-harassment-anti-semitism /

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    Crazy Vegan Goes On Rage Rant For Girl Eating Tofu Without Being A Vegan

    The ignorance is PAINFULLY strong in this one.

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    Heartbreaking Innocence: This Middle School Kid Doesnt Realize That You Can 100% Lie Playing Never Have I Ever

    Growing up is a tough experience, but sometimes, children can only be too innocent for their own good. One young man named Dan Brister, regrettably, knows that all too well: This middle school kid doesn’t is understood that you can 100 percentage lie playing Never Have I Ever.

    Ugh. You gotta feel for Dan. This is the kind of thing you utterly detest to see.

    Just a few minutes into his friend’s 13 th birthday party, sources say that Dan was unwittingly pulled into a game of Never Have I Ever and immediately put a thumb down when someone said, “Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this room.” Sadly, even though half the room was wholly lying, innocent little Dan still didn’t get the memo, and maintained putting thumb after finger down after people said they’d never eaten a booger, never gotten a boner at school, and ever seen their parents naked.

    Damn, Dan’s face is turning bright ruby-red, and you can tell he doesn’t want people to think he’s a spaz, but he’s still playing the game 100 percent earnestly. This is just heartbreaking.

    What’s worse, after putting down his thumb for “never have I ever shit my gasps, ” Dan reportedly tried to cut the tension by telling the whole story about how he got sick driving home from Yellowstone and his dad made him shampoo out the car afterwards. And worst of all, Dan outed himself as a lip virgin while his crush sat merely three feet away, even though everyone thought he’d kissed them at a different party during 7 Minutes In Heaven.

    Jesus, Dan.

    Man, this kid is playing this play so honestly that it’s almost unbearable to watch. Let’s hope he catches on soon or someone’s mom calls everyone upstairs so video games finally comes to an objective!

    Read more: http :// www.clickhole.com/ article/ heartbreaking-innocence-middle-school-kid-doesnt-r-7 333

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    When You Get Up Early In The Morning And It’s…

    Read more: http :// www.ifunny.com // depicts/ when-you-get-early-morning-and-its /

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    Cognitive Dissonance – Sometimes People Hold…

    Read more: http :// www.ifunny.com // videos/ cognitive-dissonance-sometimes-people-hold /

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    31 Hilarious Memes & Posts From The Marvel Cinematic Universe

    A healthy dump of memes and comics for all you Marvel fanatics!

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    Funny Excerpts From Court Reporters That Are Criminally Ridiculous

    Oh, you know, just silly classic lawyering things….

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    The Us Men’s Curling Team Looks Like A Group…

    Read more: http :// www.ifunny.com // illustrations/ us-mens-curling-team-looks-group /~ ATAGEND

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    Setting smart lights in augmented reality, then shooting them out with a bow and arrow.

    The future looks like a lot of fun.

    Read more: http :// www.wimp.com/ setting-smart-lights-in-augmented-reality-then-shooting-them-out-with-a-bow-and-arrow /

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    5 Sex Comedy Tropes That Need to Evolve or Die

    I grew up watching sexuality comedies because my parents were the kinds of people who felt their preteen should get to know why the shitty dean of a college was ruining everyone’s horny day. Fast-forward a few years, and I noticed that all modern movie deans seem to hate boners too. Basically, sexuality slapsticks haven’t truly changed a lot in the past 30 years, and that is definitely for the worse. These cinemas urgently need to evolve past their standard material, which is at best age-old and at the worst vengefully inappropriate in real life.

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    Peeping As A Wacky Prank

    In a curious breach from reality, spying on someone who is naked in a movie is nearly always presented as hilarious good fun. If your landlord was watching you rain, you’d likely be upset. But if the gang from American Pie is watching two women get undressed, it’s a goddamn party. Let’s see how those crazy children mess this up!

    The “spying on women get naked” trope is about as age-old as nudity. It was such a big part of the movie Porky’s way back in 1981( right after the Civil War) that they used an eye peeping through a hole as part of the poster artwork. If you need a reminder, that specific thing is also a big part of the movie Psycho . A good rule of thumb when it comes to interactions with women: Don’t do anything that a serial killer who garments like his mother would do.

    Yet this same gag happens in literally three different American Pie movies, and maybe more, since I don’t even think the company behind the American Pie movies knows how many exist at this phase. You can also find it in The Girl Next Door , Hall Pass , I Love You Beth Cooper , and countless direct-to-video liberates intended to build teenage boys laugh while jerking off. And it’s so bizarre, because in any of those, just changing the score to horror movie tension music would turn the scene into nightmare fuel.

    And every time, the woman’s torso is just a prop — the degree of the joke is the peepers’ hilarious bumble. The comedic tension comes from the threat of them being caught. In one of the American Pie s, Jim defines up his camera so his pals can watch him debauch the unsuspecting foreign exchange student, but the dullard accidentally emails the links to the whole school and Blink-1 82( plus a monkey ). What a silly goof! His small crime turned into a much larger misdemeanour because of his ineptitude, and an unsuspecting woman has now been embarrassed in front of thousands of her peers. Where’s that “wah wah” horn when you need it?

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    Other “Sexy” Pranks

    The sex prank is a lot of good-natured joking, if you deem things that are blatantly illegal and even more blatantly gross good-natured. How would you feel right now if someone transgressed into your house to steal your lingerie, then jammed their dick through a pit next to you while you rained, then awaited until you were at a school dance and ripped your clothes off while other half-naked people chased you? Fun, huh? The sexuality prank basically asks what would humiliate someone most, and then adds a penis to it. And slapstick has loved it for years.

    Hell, if you grew up on ‘8 0s comedies, you were probably convinced that half of all sexuality was sexy pranks. The panty raid in Revenge Of The Nerds , the dick in the wall from Porky’s , the “Scott Baio use his creepy powers to strip everyone naked and instigate a bizarre mass sexual assault party” from Zapped . 20 years later, we had Van Wilder filling pastry with dog semen and feeding it to unsuspecting frat guys. And in American Reunion , Stifler extol himself a Vagina Shark before diving below the water and fondling a random group of teenage girls.

    On some level, we like the idea of sex grossness in a comedic context. Hell, that’s how half of the articles I write operate. Sex is still a very taboo topic for the most proportion, so when we watch outrageous sexuality in some manner, it gets a big reaction. But if you step outside the slapstick universe and into the real one, that whole dog jizz thing is frightening. That’s shit that would put you in therapy for years , not to mention putting members of the public who perpetrated the prank in prison for the offences of, in legal terms, “being an absolute fuckin’ creep.”

    But most of the time, these things are done by the protagonists. We in the audience are rooting for the prank, because the victims, uh, deserve a sex crime because they’re jerks? That kind of seems like a bad lesson to send.

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    A Lady Is A Prize

    About 30 years ago, John Hughes moved balls to the wall with the teen genre and stimulated Weird Science , a movie about two teenage boys who literally create their own magical sexuality slave with the omnipotent power of ‘8 0s computers. Flip to 2018, and while no one has actually made a lady from scratch on film lately( aside from the odd robot ), women are still more or less the objects of mystical boner quests for male protagonists. And rarely does anyone give a handful of happy horseshit if she’s interested, cares, or even has a name.

    Now, before anyone gets their ball container in a knot, remember: This is me. I’m the guy who introduced a generation to the Baby Jesus Buttplug. I’m not opposed to any number of debaucheries. But I’m simply seeming like maybe comedy needs to evolve past the time of making a woman with personal computers that had a 64 kb hard drive.

    The general level behind films like Superbad , most of the American Pie series, Wedding Crashers , The 40 -Year-Old Virgin , and so many others is that pursuit of the status of women. Booty is the Mount Doom into which the male protagonist wants to throw the One Wiener. But Mount Doom wasn’t particularly important to the plot, and neither are the women in most sexuality comedies. Superbad and 40 -Year-Old Virgin flesh the dames out verrrrrry somewhat, but that nearly feels like kind of a nod from the filmmakers, acknowledging that they’ve done a disservice to the female characters. But it doesn’t make up for actually generating complicated female characters. Like James Franco wearing a “Me Too” pin, there’s a stair that’s been missed in the chain of understanding.

    Obviously , not every movie follows this template. There are female-led slapsticks like Rough Night and Bad Moms , which sort of overrule the template, but they’re not the norm. The norm is a movie like Van Wilder , wherein the Taj character doesn’t even crave a particular woman in the end. He only craves a lady. Not even a woman, really, but a happy-go-lucky vagina, and he says just as much. Sex slapsticks don’t all necessity ten-minute scenes in which the male characters stand in a circle and say their favorite things about females. But they do require female characters who are more than just penis homes for the dudes to move into at the end.

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    Female Sex Fiends

    You’ll read the female sexuality fiend, the monstrously horny lady that will tear apart the movie in a Godzilla-like rage until she gets that dick, in a lot of comedies — Get Him To The Greek , Wedding Crashers , 40 -Year-Old Virgin , American Pie .( AGAIN. Is this series going to hit every one of these bases ?) If the writers are nervous that the protagonist is too much of a pig, they throw in a dame sex fiend to balance them out. Remember when Michelle in American Pie spouts her famous “flute in the pussy” line? That’s a primo example. “Oh my God, this unassuming daughter is actually even more of a sex freak than our hero! Dames are pervs too! Karma worked out in the end! ” But did it?

    The lady sex freak is often a very weird character. Jim doesn’t even crave Michelle in American Pie ; he decides on her when he can’t get the girl he does crave, and then suddenly she’s putting musical instruments in his butt. But he never considered her at first, and “theres only” after he found out she was as much of a deviant as him that he was into it. Isla Fisher in Wedding Crashers is much the same way — Vince Vaughn schemes on using her, then she gets weird and clingy and sexually aggressive. Of course, they end up together, because her open sexuality altogether balances out the fact that he makes a living pathologically lying to any women in a ten-foot radius.

    The female sex fiend serves as a kind of karmic sex retribution for the man, working on the “two wrongs make a right” principle. In Get Him To The Greek , Carla Gallo’s character is in the film for all of five minutes, just long enough to literally jam something up Jonah Hill’s ass. This is akin to how Michelle stays a trumpet up Jim’s ass in American Pie or how Jennifer Aniston runs Jason Bateman’s ass in Horrible Bosses 2 . You can really zing a dude by putting things up his ass, apparently.

    It’s clearly a technique of having a character get what’s coming to them. After being callous or some kind of manwhore, they get their comeuppance. But they don’t learn anything, genuinely, or change in any positive style. It only builds you feel better about them being the “hero” of the movie, because it keeps them humble in an anally violating sort of way.

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    MILFs

    I would argue that the only reason any of us today know the word MILF is because of, let me check here, American Pie .( I guess this whole listing could have been just that dealership .) It’s been a million other places since then, from coffee cups to T-shirts, and is a sprawling genre of porn. So good for Stifler and his mama, as they changed the culture landscape, or at least the boner landscape.

    Far be it from me to deny anyone’s advises to F someone’s MIL, as the world is up to its nuts in lovely mothers. But the trope in movies has always been various kinds of creepy, due to the weird, unspoken doubled standard. Deem how often an older leading man is paired with a younger leading woman — Tom Cruise was 22 years younger than his Mummy co-star, 20 years older than his Jack Reacher co-star, and 21 years older than his Edge Of Tomorrow co-star. Basically, Cruise needs two decades on a woman for them to work together, and it’s never even a plot phase. Nobody considers it freaky. There’s a reason there’s no Cruise genre of porn. I signify, I don’t think there is.

    So right away, when a woman is significantly older than the man/ boy, it’s a big deal in a movie. And you can see this trope all over the place, from Behaving Badly , in which Elizabeth Shue plays a mom who sleeps with a teen son, to a movie that’s actually called MILF , about a group of guys who have shitty luck with girls their own age, to Adam Sandler’s That’s My Boy , where the entire comedic setup for this movie is how hilarious statutory rape is.

    And at the heart of all of it is that a “MILF” is either supposed to be shocking( “She’s sexy … but also 40 ! “) or a straight fetish. Seem at the acronym, for God’s sake. They want to fuck a mama , not a woman who happens to also be a momma. And that’s genuinely shitty, isn’t it? You’re inducing someone a Fleshlight of a certain age. Don’t get me wrong, they can still fill their movies with sexually active middle-aged wives. But maybe stop feigning that idea is automatically hilarious instead of simply, you know, a real thing that exists.

    Weird how a lot of these hijinks happen in college, right? How very Belushi of them .

    If you loved such articles and want more content like this, support our website with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you .

    Read more: http :// www.cracked.com/ blog/ 5-sex-comedy-tropes-that-need-to-evolve-or-die /

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    Hard To Watch: This Girl Who Wont Go In The Pool Because She Just Got Her First Period Is Way Overselling Her Lie About How Her Religion Doesnt Allow Swimming

    If you two are looking for a heartwarming tale, you might want to stop reading now, because the scene currently unfolding at a neighborhood pond party is sure to attain you cringe: Thirteen-year-old Katie Moore isn’t going in the pond because she just got her first period, and now she’s way overselling her lie about how her belief doesn’t let swimming.

    Jeez. This is definitely hard to watch. Everyone got the suggestion when she said her religious beliefs forbid float, and she genuinely could’ve simply left it at that.

    From the moment her friends jumped into the pool, Katie’s been leaning way too hard on her lie about how their own families belongs to a little-known sect of Christianity in which swimming is proscribe, both recreationally and for survival. Although everyone at the working party was immediately cool to just let her chill out by the side of the pool without any fuss, she proceeded to tell everybody her family’s religion has stipulated that her spirit will be damned to Hell for an eternity of unbearable torment should she swim.

    “My family’s priest will excommunicate me from the church if I even get my feet wet, ” Katie said as she dismissed her friends’ offer to merely get out of the pool and go on the trampoline with her instead. “A few years ago, my uncle moved swimming in the inn pond at our Christmas celebration, and now we’re not even allowed to say his name.”

    Sadly, even though all of Katie’s friends are nodding and saying it’s fine if she doesn’t swim with them, she’s continuing to pad out this unnecessary lie with excess detail, including a made-up biblical tale she says her family holds sacred about twin sisters named Victoria and Zemirah who swam in a river instead of preparing supper and, as punishment, were beheaded by their parent, who was anointed with sweet-scented petroleums by the monarch as a reward for slaying the blasphemous swimmers.

    Damn, Katie’s really going to some unbelievable lengths to avoid telling people she just got her period. Someone was likely to keep telling her she can take it easy. Party guests say that when her friend’s mommy came outside with a box of popsicles, Katie didn’t even dedicate her a chance to ask why she wasn’t in the pond before launching into a convoluted explanation about how the only period her religion will allow her to swimming is on the eve of her bridal, and that when she does eventually get in the sea, it will be a really beautiful ceremony at a lake, which is something she says she knows because “shes seen” her cousin swimming before he got married last summer.

    Yikes. You’ve gotta feel for this girl. Her elaborated lie about her anti-swimming belief are getting more and more labyrinthine by the moment. It’s definitely not easy to have your first interval at a pond party, but this is total overkill. Hopefully Katie receives a behavior to wrap this up at some phase before she digs herself into too big of a hole.

    Read more: http :// www.clickhole.com/ article/ hard-watch-girl-who-wont-go-pool-because-she-just–7 425

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    Why 2018 Is Gonna Be A Long Year If You Hate Donald Trump

    If your politics lean left, your trusted pundits are let me tell you something THIS. IS. THE. Time. when our disastrous political situation will turn itself around. “Robert Mueller’s closing in on Trump! The American people are starting to wise up! A midterm election Blue Wave( TM) will #Resist the #NotMyPresident into #DrumpfDefeat! ” Well what if we told you none of that will happen without a herculean effort on the part of America’s decent people? What if we told you none of this will get secured soon? And what if we reminded you those same pundits who reckon everything’s about to be fine literally chuckled at the prospect of a Trump presidency not that long ago?

    On this week’s episode of The Cracked Podcast, Alex Schmidt is joined by comedian/ soothsayer Adam Tod Brown ( Unpopular Opinion Podcast Network) for a deep dive into the history, engineering, and basic math that demonstrates we are nowhere near getting out of the timbers yet. They’ll look ahead to what might actually happen by the end of this midterm-riffic year of politics. And they’ll help us all save our mental health issues by establishing reasonable expectations, instead of assuming we’ll be saved by the total nonsense the expectations of pundits on TV.

    Footnotes :

    Unpopular Opinion podcasts, articles, tour dates, and more

    “5 Ways Donald Trump Perfectly Mirrors Hitler’s Rise To Power” by Adam Tod Brown( Cracked )

    When Keith Ellison said Donald Trump could be GOP nominee, people chuckled[ VIDEO]( City Pages )

    Russia-Trump inquiry: Full text of Mueller’s indictment( BBC )

    Before Russia investigation, Robert Mueller oversaw probe into NFL’s handling of Ray Rice case( USA Today )

    The complete Watergate timeline( it took longer than you recognize)( PBS NewsHour )

    What happens if Trump is subpoenaed by Robert Mueller?( The Washington Post )

    He Predicted The 2016 Fake News Crisis. Now He’s Worried About An Info Apocalypse.( BuzzFeed News )

    VoCo demonstration at Adobe MAX 2016

    Watch a humankind manipulate George Bush’s face in real period( The Verge )

    Trump Soho is reborn as the Dominick Hotel( Curbed )

    Where RFK Was Killed, a Diverse Student Body Fulfills His Vision for America( Smithsonian Magazine )

    Glowing Auras and ‘Black Money’: The Pentagon’s Mysterious U.F.O. Program( The New York Times )

    President Trump has already filed for re-election. That’s not normal.( The Week )

    Southern Poverty Law Center’s new Hate Map demonstrates 38 radical groups in Southern California( The Orange County Register )

    The Congressional Map Has A Record-Setting Bias Against Democrats( FiveThirtyEight )

    Mike Pence is breaking ties in the Senate at a record-setting speed( CNN )

    Can Democrat win back the House in 2018? It’ll be tough.( The Washington Post )

    Kristallnacht page from The Holocaust Encyclopedia( United States Holocaust Memorial Museum )

    How a Nazi Made the Ballot in Illinois( The Atlantic )

    Ed Gillespie Is Sad He Was Forced to Run Racist Ads in Virginia’s Governor’s Race( Daily Intelligencer )

    Mitt Romney: “I am running for United States Senate to serve the people of Utah and bring Utah’s values to Washington.”

    Mitt Romney said he wouldn’t accept an endorsement from Trump. Monday night, he did.( Vox )

    Join us for our next LIVE Cracked Podcast ! It’s happening Saturday, March 10 th at 7pm . Alex Schmidt is joined by guests Emily Heller, Greg Edwards,& Zack Bornstein for narratives of history’s most underrated badasses. Tickets are$ 7 and available HERE .

    Read more: http :// www.cracked.com/ podcast/ why-2 018 -gonna-be-long-year-if-you-hate-donald-trump

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